Being cool is (finally!) not cool anymore

A relieving trend to enjoy summer in the era of peak social media anxiety

It all starts with an endless instagram scroll session. And yes, we already know “what you see online is just half the story” but still, it’s impossible to -sometimes - not second guess what you post, what you share, and if you take it a bit further (unnecessary, but sometimes inevitable) even second guess your lifestyle.

I consider myself a self-confident enough 29 year old millennial, and would love to be able to say that the online world does not influence me, but it does. Mostly because I have fun posting and sharing random stuff, but also because the internet is my go-to tool to relate to the world (and for everyone else too, don´t tell me the first thing you do when you hear about *anything* isn`t googling it).

In short, we have a love-hate relationship with being ourselves and sharing who we are, and the main stage for our own little drama is none other than the internet.

So in my quest for answers, (or validation to do whatever I want, I still need it, I´m weak) I started a very serious research on why it is cool to not be cool anymore. I started from my own preconceptions of “coolness” (very much informed by my social context, my cultural background, the accounts I follow on IG, and the people who act “cooler” than me). Then I started to look for “signs” (mostly on the internet but then in real life too) of anti-coolness. Meaning: everything that goes against whatever most people in general would consider cool (e.g board games, sandals with socks, anything “cringe”, ugly IG feeds, you name it)

What I learned is that when you start looking for something you usually start seeing it everywhere (call it manifestation, maybe?). And what I have found so far is a ray of hope for all of us who are tired of the aesthetics of perfection: Being normal, average, cringe or ugly is the new cool. Hear me out: what is better than owning your own quirks? We are entering the era of “personality over looks” and honestly, it’s about damn time.

It all starts with reverting the meanings of popular culture terms. We know (too well) what FOMO, hot girl summer and main character energy mean: You have to be spontaneous, go out, be social all the time, live life to the fullest, be in the moment, show people how fun you are, always eat clean and look hot while doing all of that. But what if I’m tired of having to look like I have my shit together all the time?

Enter JOMO: the joy of missing out. This idea started with the confinement era and became a relieving trend, finally validating the urge we all have to cancel plans and stay in. What used to be considered antisocial is now turning into a self care trend. It`s cool to (sometimes, come on) cancel plans and turn off your phone.

Then came the transformation of main character energy into side character energy: a personal favorite I discovered recently, coined by The Cut’s own Mia Mercado. Think about it: the side character does not have a “hero story” or a successful narrative, but is the perfectly imperfect sidekick who adds fun and chaos to the movie. The side character is allowed to have fun, make mistakes, be a mess, take things less seriously and is loved for it. (And the best part: main characters would be nothing without them).

And for the cherry on top: the transformation of the “hot girl summer” idea into the “cringe girl summer” trend: because the hot girl has been a character for too long with a very strict set of rules to mimic and it has to stop. Take cringe girl summer instead: the permission to do whatever you want without worrying about what other people think. Took a thousand selfies? Post them all at once. Had a random thought? Post it without context. As Emma Specter puts it: no more character development, it’s ok to be dumb and do the bare minimum. The only rule is to have fun (Vogue says it´s OK)

Don´t get me wrong, I am ambitious and all about “growth”, but I think mastering the anti cool confidence is a different, more liberating and equally important kind of growth. Not trying to “become” something is the ultimate road to really “becoming” yourself: because we have to start paying more attention to who we are and what we like, and then find a way to be comfortable with sharing it.

I have noticed all my friends have side projects: some like to sing, others draw, some are cooks, photographers, and so on. And I admire the ones who found a way to share their “stuff” consistently with the rest of us: weird or cringe, they inspire me to do things (writing my unsolicited opinions here, for example).

The takeout is: share who you are and do it however you want. Nothing is really cool anymore and we love it.